Hate Being the Centre of Attention? 5 Wedding Ceremony Tips | Amanda Saliba

It’s not uncommon for a couple to tell me during our planning meeting that they hate being the centre of attention. My response is always: no problems. I’ve got plenty of ideas.

Not loving the spotlight doesn’t mean your ceremony has to lose all the personal stuff. We can still create a ceremony that feels completely like you and includes the moments that matter, without creating more opportunities for you to speak in front of everyone or keeping you standing up there any longer than you’d like.

Here are some of my favourite ideas that couples who feel exactly this way are choosing to work into their wedding ceremony.

Here are five of my favourite ways to take some of that pressure off.

1. Consider a first look

If the only person on the planet who can calm your nerves is your other half, why wait until the ceremony to see them?

A first look can take some of the pressure out of that big entrance and give you a moment together before you walk into a space filled with everyone you know and love. It can also create the perfect opportunity for my next idea...

2 Love the idea of personal vows, but not saying them in front of everyone?

This comes up a lot.

You might love the idea of making personal promises to each other, but the thought of standing there with a microphone and reading them in front of everyone completely squashes it. Guess what… you don't have to!

One option I offer my couples is a personalised “I Do” moment.

You each send me your promises separately before the wedding. I then weave them into the ceremony as questions for you to answer.

It will look a little something like this. So instead of you having to stand there and read:

“I promise to always make you coffee in the morning, support every new hobby you suddenly decide to take up and try not to get quite so angry when you leave your shoes in the hallway...”

I can ask:

“Do you promise to always make them coffee in the morning, support their latest hobby and try your very best not to lose it over the shoes in the hallway?”

And all you have to say is: “I do.”

It's still personal. They're still your promises. Your guests still get that little glimpse into the two of you. You just don't have to deliver a speech to make it happen.

And if you do want to write something longer and more personal to each other, you can still do that privately. Share your vows during your first look, read them to each other when you head out for sunset photos, or write a letter or card for your person to open separately before the ceremony begins.

Personal doesn't have to mean public.

Photo by DUÜET Wedding Photography & Videography

3 Take the signing out of the middle of your ceremony

Here's another easy one.

There are certain legal elements that need to happen for you to get married, but there is still plenty of flexibility in how we structure your ceremony. So if standing in front of everyone is the part you're dreading, why spend an extra five to seven minutes up there while we sign the marriage certificates?

We can move the signing to the end.

We finish the ceremony, everyone cheers, you walk back down the aisle together and head straight over to the signing table. I'll gather your two witnesses, we'll complete the paperwork and you're done.

Same legal marriage. Same signing. Just five to seven fewer minutes feeling like all eyes are on you.

4 Think about where you stand

This is such a little change, but it can make a surprising difference.

When you're standing at the end of the aisle, think about who you want to see when you look up.

Rather than automatically standing on the same side as your own family, consider standing opposite them. That way, when you look out during the ceremony, you're looking straight at your own people. Mum, Dad, siblings, grandparents, your best friends. Whoever those familiar faces are that make you feel comfortable.

If you're already feeling nervous, seeing your people looking back at you might be exactly what you need.

There really is no rule saying you have to stand on a particular side.

5 Take the same thinking into your reception

Maybe you've made it through the ceremony feeling great, but there's another moment looming.

The first dance.

You want one. You love the song you've chosen. You just don't particularly love the idea of standing in the middle of a dance floor while an entire room forms a circle and watches you sway together for three minutes.

So don't scrap the first dance. Change it.

Invite everyone onto the dance floor first. Once they're up there with you, play your first dance song and dance amongst all your favourite people.

You still get your song. You still get your first dance. But instead of everyone watching the moment, they get to share it with you. And I think that's pretty special too.

Your ceremony doesn't need to turn you into a performer

You can have a room full of people. You can have a ceremony full of personality. You can include personal promises, meaningful moments and all the things that matter to you. None of that means you suddenly have to become someone who loves public speaking or being watched.

Tell me you're nervous. Tell me you hate being the centre of attention. Tell me which parts are making you uncomfortable. Then we design those moments differently.

Easy.

Hate Being the Centre of Attention? 5 Ways to Take the Pressure Off Your Wedding Ceremony